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Right now I am just really, really annoyed at/bored with my art style. It seems like everything I draw just all looks the same and no matter how much I try and try different techniques, nothing ever changes. Everything is still sketchy, the colours are still awful, my lighting is still off and my proportions are still horrendous. Maybe the reason why I feel so inadequate is that recently I've been exposed to a lot of art styles that are more "Western"-- styles that are completely different from my own-- and I'm beginning to develop an increased interest in that style.

Sometimes I wish I could just throw away the style that I have right now and start over, but at the same time, I know that I've worked on my art for basically all of my life and that would just be a waste. Were I to do that, I doubt I would ever be an artist again. I just wish that I made bigger leaps and bounds. I wish that I could one day just draw something stunning. I wish my art style changed more over the years. I feel like I haven't grown at all as an artist, be it in my graphics/Photoshop work or my drawings. Maybe it's time to expand into different materials, but I'm stuck wondering if that will really help.

I think my major problem is that I separate my art into Art I Do For Fun and Art I Do For School. While I'm not necessarily ashamed of the way that I draw, I have yet to do a single project for class in my usual style. I've definitely gained techniques from my drawing classes (barring perspective, which I don't think I will ever be able to do...), I don't apply them to the works of art that I normally do for fun. While I have grand ideas to do work in charcoal or ink or any other material, there are always many things that stop me: forgetfulness, laziness, fretfulness, not wanting to make a mess, not wanting to waste materials etc. Even though I have a huge amount of fun, I simply don't do it because it means working on a larger or messier scale. And even if I do make a piece of work that I'm happy with, I can't post it here on DA or on Tumblr for a critique because I'm not a good enough photographer to do any piece of work justice.

This wasn't meant to be depressing; just musing out loud.

Ugh. I need to rethink everything.